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Hic inserere motto

Animus iocandi

May 30, 2019 — shinohai

Telegram never fails to produce lulz, and an endless stream of scammers that scout cryptocurrency channels for marks. Since I'm an admin in the Unobtanium channel, I get plenty of unsolicited messages from institutional investors and princes from Monaco that wish me to part with my precious UNO. To wit:

Scammers suddenly get all moral when you discuss sexual acts with them. This guy supposed that blackmailing me by threatening to inform the other admins what I was up to was the solution. Fortunately, the other team members are well aware I'm a degenerate that uses unconventional methods.

This is, of course, just a sampling of the countless messages I have received. I imagined that I might end up on some sort of scammer "do not contact" list, but since Nigeria alone has a population of roughly 191 Million, it might take some time.

Bring it on.

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Bitmain terminates 50% of remaining workforce.

December 25, 2018 — shinohai

Rumors swirling on "executive social media" site LinkedIn hint that mining conglomerate Bitmain is slashing the size of it's workforce by 50%, most of the affected employees being part of a BTrash wallet development team calling itself "Copernicus". The company famously concentrated a large amount of resources towards supporting Roger Ver and mining the Bcash fork of Bitcoin, and are now experiencing the SFYL that naturally occurs when people chase scamcoins. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Vitalik completes meme circle

December 20, 2018 — shinohai

Buterin finally gives away some $300K USD worth of ETH as he exits school to focus on breathing new life into the mETH industry. Diploma mill University of Basel recently awarded Butern an honorary doctorate, presumably for his work in quantum computing schemes and building a product that consistently loses user funds.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

BCash continues descent into obscurity.

December 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitcoin Cash (a.k.a BCash, Btrash) saw prices fall to a record low of $82 USD across exchanges today, representing a 98% decline from the all time high. BCash has suffered rekt syndrome since "Hoaxtoshi" Craig Wright decided to split to his own chain, known as "Bitcoin SV", a few short weeks ago. Price for this fork of the fork of Bitcoin still sits below BCH, at $74.50. coin.dance reports just slightly over 1,000 Bitcoin ABC nodes in operation at the time of this article.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Decade sentence recommended for former MtGOX CEO

December 12, 2018 — shinohai

Prosecutors in Tokyo's District Court recommended a 10-year prison sentence for former MtGOX CEO Mark Karpeles in their closing arguments today, asserting that he "betrayed his clients and used a huge amount of their money" and constructed a flimsy excuse to cover it all up. MtGOX was formerly the largest Bitcoin exchange in the world, but went bankrupt in 2014 after around $423 million USD worth of Bitcoin and fiat went missing. Karpeles claimed "LOL, we wuz haxed" and that the money discrepancies were personal loans, though prosecutors allege no documentation exists to support his version of events. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams

Cyprian cryptocurrency charges collapse in court

December 06, 2018 — shinohai

Alexander Vinnik, operator of defunct (though recently operating as wex.nz) cryptocurrency exchange btc-e had all charges against him dropped in a Cyprian court. The plaintiffs withdrew all charges of "fraud, money-laundering, and other grave crimes" according to a statement by Mr. Vinnik's attorney. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Zcash on Coinbase, a twitter comedy in two acts ...

December 05, 2018 — shinohai

Zany Zooko gets his turd listed on Conbase. Within hours, ZEC is dumped. Lulz were had.

Tags: News, Cryptocurrency, Scams, Lulz

How to eat shit and die, a manual.

December 05, 2018 — shinohai

Serial scammer "Bitcoin Tre" announced on twitter that he would consume his canine companion's shit if the USD price of Bitcoin isn't $10 by January 1rst of 2020. Trevon James is well known for peddling Bitconnect jenkem for r/edditards to huff, and was named in a class action lawsuit by Bitconnect losers in September of this year. Mr. James is the second individual this year that has proffered to eat unusual items, with John McAfee taking the lead by offering to eat his own dick on live national television.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Filipinos to be paid in trash to collect trash

November 29, 2018 — shinohai

Residents of Manila may soon be "compensated" with mETH tokens in exchange for spending a few hours cleaning up trash on beaches in the capital city. ConsenSys, billed as the largest development firm on the flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit that is Ethereum, hopes to kickstart their Bounties Network dApp by appealing to uneducated 3rd-world users who might be tricked into believing that the tokens they receive have any value. Participants in this scheme with any intelligence at all will hopefully immediately swap any ETH received for actual Bitcoin on their preferred cryptocurrency exchange. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Twitter account of target.com hacked to promote giveaway scam.

November 13, 2018 — shinohai

Unknown individuals gained access to the official Target twitter account earlier today and attempted to promote a 5000 BTC giveaway scam. The tweet posted by the hacker(s), now deleted, asked users to send small amounts of Bitcoin to an address in order to participate in a chance to win the Bitcoin prize, which is worth around $30 Million USD at the time of writing. The incident is another example of the poor security used by the twitter platform and its unwillingness to stop the proliferation of scams that usually target "verified" accounts.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams, Webshit

Vitalik gushes over scam success

October 05, 2018 — shinohai

mETHereum founder Vitalik Butterin admitted in a recent tweet that he is "really proud" that his 70% premine scamcoin has been so much more successful than his quantum computer scam.


Vitalik was quoted as saying during the initial offering that "We accept only bitcoin with no refunds for our premined ETH" a.k.a. "Fuck you, got mine".

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Mixxchain privacy falls flat

September 14, 2018 — shinohai

Mixxchain, where "Privacy Meets Scalability" has announced that as soon as they return from their roadshow and come up with some new buzzwords to inject into their website, will be taking applications for node operators on their vapourware network.

What are these innovative privacy features? Why KYC checks of course!

The founder of this flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit is David Chaum, whom the "team" section of the Mixxchain website claims is "widely recognized as the inventor of digital cash".

Tags: News, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Hoaxtoshi announces upcoming release of his one true final vision

August 19, 2018 — shinohai

Craig "Hoaxtoshi" Wright announced plans to release a competing version of the BTrash implementation which he calls "Bitcoin SV" that will "provide a clear BCH implementation choice for miners who support Bitcoin’s original vision". The new version - the really, real version of Bitcoin this time - will have support for 128MB blocks, despite the fact that the most blocks are less than 100KB, or 0.00333333333% of the current 32MB limit. The announcement comes in the midst of a time of increasing tensions between Hoaxtoshi and the "Bitcoin ABC" (BTrash) developers, who want to add new OP codes that Wright says will encourage illegal gambling and other things he can't patent or control. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Blockchain Beanie baby bubble bursting

June 17, 2018 — shinohai

A report from Business Insider indicates that sales of collectible "CryptoKitties" on the mEthereum database are rapidly plummeting. The startup was given $12 Million USD from "Venture Capitalists" that apparently wanted to see just how much money idiots would flush down the toilet while under the influence of feline jenkem. One of the founders of CryptoKitties says the slowdown is caused by users making more "thoughtful transactions" due to the increasing costs of transacting on the mEthereum network, a side effect that occurs when one writes contracts with the ability to launch a Denial of Service attack on itself just for lulz.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Ayre hawks Antiguan citizenship in last ditch effort to boost Bcash scam.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Fake news outlet CoinGeek is reportedly now offering to sell citizenship in the beautiful 3rd-world tax haven of Antigua. Benefits are rumored to include not owning any actual bitcoin, and being forced to transact in fiatist darling Bcash1 instead. Coin Geek is owned by serial scammer and liar Calvin Ayre who is notorious for working closely with hoaxtoshi Craig Wright. Source: (archived)

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