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Mark Karpeles handed suspended sentence in Mt. Gox trial

March 15, 2019 — shinohai

A Japanese court found former Mt. Gox CEO Mark Karpeles guilty of tampering with financial records, but elected to suspend his 2.5 year sentence and allowing him to avoid squealing like a pig in prison.

Bloomberg reported that Karpeles viewed his treatment by Japanese authorities as unfair, instead of thanking them for helping him shed some much needed weight:

Karpeles has said he was interrogated for months without a lawyer and bullied into signing a confession, a "nightmare" process during which he lost 77 pounds over 11 months.

The government of the U.S. still blames Russian national and former btc-e exchange operator Alexander Vinnik for laundering the stolen funds from Mt. Gox and is attempting to extradite him to America to face charges. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

BlockCypher reveals mETHereum hard fork lulz

March 13, 2019 — shinohai

tl;dr: BlockCypher decides to continue to offer support for Ethereum despite services being non-operational for almost a month following the recent "upgrades" to the network.

After examining every which way we could think of to add the Trie state to our Ethereum state, we asked Vitalik for assistance. His first comment to us was "oh you’re one of the few running one of those big, scary nodes." We asked him if he knew of anyone else running a "big, scary node" to see if we could possibly sync with them. He knew of no one, not even the Ethereum Foundation keeps a full archival copy of the Ethereum chain.(Emphasis added) We were back to square 1: starting the Full sync again, this time including the Trie state.

This led to stunning results:

"Lesson Learned #3: In the event of a chain re-organization, we may be the only ones to know the entire history of Ethereum transactions."

This seems to mark a developing trend of aversions to a "foundation" model though running big, scary nodes will always remain the only method to ensure a complete and accurate history of the blockchain.

You can read the entire shitty medium post discussing these lulz here if you're so inclined.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Webshit

Thailand SEC bans Bcash, other altcoins

March 03, 2019 — shinohai

Thailand's equivalent of the SEC announced it would be prohibiting the exchange of BCH (Btrash) and a handful of other cryptocurrencies in order to "protect its citizens" from fraud. The r/btc lemming force is expected to coordinate hundreds of posts later in the week denouncing all things Thai, which likely will stay confined to the reddit corral now that twitter CEO Jack Dorsey said he would not add Btrash as on option on Square payments or twitter. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Coinomi wallet sends user passwords in plaintext over Google API

February 28, 2019 — shinohai

Today's Lulz come courtesy of "Bitcoin Wallet" Coinomi, which handily sent user passwords over Google spell check in plain text using their Webshit framework. btcinfo sends condolonces to affected "users" and is very SFYL. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz, Webshit

BSV found to host CP

February 06, 2019 — shinohai

Fork of a fork of BTC BitcoinSV's recent increase in the OP_RETURN data size has led to unknown individuals using it to store child pornography images on the BSV chain. The images were placed into tx's using Ryan X. Charles "Money Button" service, which makes it easy to embed data into transactions. Unlike the links to CP discovered in the actual Bitcoin blockchain, the "Bigger Blocks" allow for full images to be stored immutably on their blokechain and will likely be heralded as BSV and nChain's "Killer App". (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

CoinBr announces suspension of online services

January 30, 2019 — shinohai

The operator of the MPEx brokerage service CoinBr, jurov, announced in a blog post this morning that the service would be shuttering its online operations for the foreseeable future. Lack of interest and 0 usage in the past year were cited as reasons for the change, unsurprising considering the general poor performance of TMSR enterprises during that time period. Captain obvious makes an appearance later in the #trilema logs declaring that hand-cranked processes are superior to automated ones, also unsurprising when proffered services aren't being used.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

TRB Keccak regrind - test results and notes

January 20, 2019 — shinohai

I had originally intended this to be a better version of the build instructions I mirrored from the foundation website, but decided to wait for the regrind before making a post, since the foundation planned on updating everything anyway. A few days later mod6 published a blog post detailing the steps he took to update the trb vtree from SHA512 to Keccak vpatches, so that is what will be covered in this post. What I did was, I went through all the similar steps just as in mod6's post, and I created my own keccak trb vtree, just as mod6 did. I then was able to confirm that my keccak trb vtree and his keccak trb tree are a mechanical match. I also did a diff of my keccak trb vtree against the original SHA512 vpatches, and we can see that only difference is the removal of the UTF8 character from genesis.vpatch.

You will need all of the dependencies listed on the bitcoin foundation website in the "how-to" section. A modified version of mod6's `v.pl` (that produces Keccak hashes) and a few other tools are also needed: these can be obtained from diana_coman's website. I no longer use nor support any other flavor of Linux besides Gentoo for any projects discussed on this site , so users of other distros will be required to do their own research to make all this work. I am using a Cuntoo chroot here, and for the sake of thoroughness, here is a list of the exact versions of the dependencies I used:

* sys-devel/bc 1.06.95-r2 * sys-devel/gcc 4.9.4 * app-crypt/gnupg 1.4.10 * net-misc/wget 1.19.5 * net-misc/curl 7.61.1 * dev-lang/perl 5.24.3-r1 * sys-devel/patch 2.7.6-r2 * net-misc/rsync 3.1.3 * sys-apps/coreutils 8.29-r1 * app-arch/unzip 6.0_p21-r2 * app-arch/bzip2 1.0.6-r10 * app-arch/cpio 2.12-r1

A working Ada setup is required to build vk.pl and the tools from diana-coman's starter pack. mod6 also wrote a handy and very detailed guide to doing this here. Since I am using a clean chroot to perform all these steps, I needed to install a new copy of Adacore, so I proceeded to grab a copy of the gnat-gpl-2016-x86_64 version from the AdaCore website here, though for some reason the page 404'd at the time I was doing these tests. Fortunately diana_coman also has this preserved on her website here for those that might need it in the future.

Once that was installed, I checked to ensure it was, in fact, the proper version:

Perfect! Building the starter pack is very painless and took less than a minute for me.

Now I moved on to the actual regrind by setting up the suggested sandbox and moving down the list of steps in mod6's blog post. This also went quite painlessly, my only snafu being I forgot to add back a hyphen "-" for the utf-8 char removed from line 118 of util.h, which caused a byte mismatch later in the process. Once that was done, I had no other problems with the process and was ready to test using mod6's experimental patchset and seals which he handily provides here, along with the signature for same. This part requires one follow the `OFFLINE` build steps from the foundation website, so it will be necessary to download the dependencies from deedbot if you don't have a copy stored somewhere already. I put all the links inside a bash script, intentionally leaving off the -sSL flags so I could observe their download progress.

cd deps/ cat >eu.sh<<EOF curl http://deedbot.org/deed-430460-2.txt > rotor.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-430460-1.txt > rotor-db-configure-fix.patch.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-422651-1.txt > boost_1_52_0.tar.bz2.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-422651-2.txt > buildroot-2015.05.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-422651-3.txt > db-4.8.30.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-422651-4.txt > openssl-1.0.1g.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-1.txt > binutils-2.24.tar.bz2.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-2.txt > busybox-1.23.2.tar.bz2.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-3.txt > expat-2.1.0.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-4.txt > fakeroot_1.18.4.orig.tar.bz2.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-5.txt > gcc-4.9.2.tar.bz2.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-6.txt > gdb-7.8.2.tar.xz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-7.txt > gmp-6.0.0a.tar.xz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-8.txt > linux-3.18.14.tar.xz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-9.txt > m4-1.4.17.tar.xz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-10.txt> mpc-1.0.3.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-11.txt> mpfr-3.1.2.tar.xz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-12.txt> musl-1.1.8.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-13.txt> ncurses-5.9.tar.gz.asc curl http://deedbot.org/deed-427443-14.txt> pkgconf-0.8.9.tar.bz2.asc EOF chmod +x deps.sh ./deps.sh

After enjoying un cafecito, the dependencies were finished downloading, so I deleted the script and changed back to the bitcoin directory. A simple `make` completes the process. I encountered no hiccups, and roughly a half hour or so later had a nice shiny bitcoind produced using vk.pl and the keccak patchset only.

In the interests of science, and to ensure repeatable results I went a step further and redid all the regrind steps in a fresh sandbox, and signed a copy of all the patches with my gpg key. Before performing a press I put mod6's copy of the patches in a directory `a` and mine in a directory `b` and ran `diff -uNr a b` against them to ensure they matched, which they did. This build also went fine with no errors, and output a 4.7M to bin/. Now let's test it:

Success! Node is happily pulling blocks.

In conclusion, this work represents an outstanding effort on the part of mod6 to ensure trb remains unmolested in the future. I have uploaded my copies of the resulting patches and the corresponding seals here for those that wish to compare them with their own during testing.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

mETH Classic 51% front for exchange theft

January 11, 2019 — shinohai

The 51% on the ETC network reported earlier this week appears to have been orchestrated by enterprising individuals who managed to rewrite tx history and make off with $220K USD worth of ETC from shitcoin exchange Gate.io. (archived)

The exchange reported that the SFYL occured between 0:40 Jan.7, 2019 and Jan 4:20 Jan.7, 2019 UTC and lasted a mere 4 hours.

"All the transactions were confirmed normally on the ETC blockchain and became invalid after the blockchain rollback."

US based exchange Conbase also reported a "$1 Million USD loss" of ETC using the same methods during the attack window. Gate.io announced it would be absorbing the cost of the SFYL for it's customers.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, SFYL, Lulz

ShapeShaft: One third of shitcoin exchange workforce slashed

January 09, 2019 — shinohai
Shitcoin exchange shapeshift.io announced that it is "laying off" 37 people, or around a third of its workforce. CEO Erik Voorhees wrote in a medium post that there were multiple factors included in this decision, though he may use some terms unfamiliar to readers. We will attempt to translate a few below.

According to Voorhees:

ShapeShift diversified its product line too early and in too many verticals, resulting in financial, legal, and time costs.

Translation: "We added support for just about every shitcoin imaginable and are surprised at the result."

We had customer issues. Business was declining from both aggregate market recession and increased competition. Our imposition of KYC?d accounts, themselves the result of trying to be cautious in a challenging regulatory environment, caused many of our most valuable API partners to leave us for competitors who have not perceived regulatory risks in the same way. We expected it, but still, it stung both financially and psychologically.

Translation: "We decided to capitulate to fiat demands and are surprised at the result."

2018 marked a rough year. While this new one starts upon some painful reorganization, we?re encouraged and hopeful for 2019.

Translation: "We lost so much money in 2018 we had to fire people but are still hopeful that *someone* out there that will continue to buy our shitcoin bags in 2019."

...and so on.

Headlines such as these have been trending lately, likely Festivus miracles that began with similar announcements by Coinbase, Steemit, Bitmain, and others. Other manifestations of miracles were reported by Qntra this month, where it was noted that mETH addicts were experiencing a chain reorganization with predictable results.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Ledger adds bluetooth SFYL device to stable.

January 07, 2019 — shinohai

Deciding that not enough cracks are visible in their wallet design, Ledger announced a new device called "LedgerX" that eminently hackable bluetooth support, which will handily announce your candidacy for SFYL to anyone within 10-20 meters. The company already entered the New Year as a loss leader after the wallet.fail team reviewed the device and determining it to be covered in webshit.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Webshit

A Decade of Bitcoin

January 03, 2019 — shinohai

On this date ten years ago the Bitcoin genesis block was mined by Satoshi Nakamoto. Despite repeated attempts to sabotage the project from within and without, the network continues to grow and blocks steadily mined.

Here's to ten more years of sovereignty ..... cheers!

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Bitmain terminates 50% of remaining workforce.

December 25, 2018 — shinohai

Rumors swirling on "executive social media" site LinkedIn hint that mining conglomerate Bitmain is slashing the size of it's workforce by 50%, most of the affected employees being part of a BTrash wallet development team calling itself "Copernicus". The company famously concentrated a large amount of resources towards supporting Roger Ver and mining the Bcash fork of Bitcoin, and are now experiencing the SFYL that naturally occurs when people chase scamcoins. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

dpb removed from republican rss roll

December 21, 2018 — shinohai

THE CONTESTANTS

The learned Trishop, danielpbarron

VS.

mircea_popescu

ROUND RESULTS:

The theological lulz continue over in trilema, with MP asking for danielpbarron's blog to be stricken from the rolls in the #trilema and #eulora channels on freenode irc - leaving the logs free for more srsbzns like bot spam.

In order to help you quickly find the droning you should be looking for, btcinfo provides these handy NPC's. Just click on the image and it returns log searches relevant to the title.

Do *you* have a suggestion for a NPC that should be added here? Send a GPG signed message to btcinfo()atsdf.org and we will make every effort to include it on these very pages. Non-encrypted or non-signed content is simply ignored.

At the time of publication this morning, danielpbarron had not responded to the event on the pages of his blog.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Vitalik completes meme circle

December 20, 2018 — shinohai

Buterin finally gives away some $300K USD worth of ETH as he exits school to focus on breathing new life into the mETH industry. Diploma mill University of Basel recently awarded Butern an honorary doctorate, presumably for his work in quantum computing schemes and building a product that consistently loses user funds.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

BCash continues descent into obscurity.

December 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitcoin Cash (a.k.a BCash, Btrash) saw prices fall to a record low of $82 USD across exchanges today, representing a 98% decline from the all time high. BCash has suffered rekt syndrome since "Hoaxtoshi" Craig Wright decided to split to his own chain, known as "Bitcoin SV", a few short weeks ago. Price for this fork of the fork of Bitcoin still sits below BCH, at $74.50. coin.dance reports just slightly over 1,000 Bitcoin ABC nodes in operation at the time of this article.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Decade sentence recommended for former MtGOX CEO

December 12, 2018 — shinohai

Prosecutors in Tokyo's District Court recommended a 10-year prison sentence for former MtGOX CEO Mark Karpeles in their closing arguments today, asserting that he "betrayed his clients and used a huge amount of their money" and constructed a flimsy excuse to cover it all up. MtGOX was formerly the largest Bitcoin exchange in the world, but went bankrupt in 2014 after around $423 million USD worth of Bitcoin and fiat went missing. Karpeles claimed "LOL, we wuz haxed" and that the money discrepancies were personal loans, though prosecutors allege no documentation exists to support his version of events. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams

Cyprian cryptocurrency charges collapse in court

December 06, 2018 — shinohai

Alexander Vinnik, operator of defunct (though recently operating as wex.nz) cryptocurrency exchange btc-e had all charges against him dropped in a Cyprian court. The plaintiffs withdrew all charges of "fraud, money-laundering, and other grave crimes" according to a statement by Mr. Vinnik's attorney. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

How to eat shit and die, a manual.

December 05, 2018 — shinohai

Serial scammer "Bitcoin Tre" announced on twitter that he would consume his canine companion's shit if the USD price of Bitcoin isn't $10 by January 1rst of 2020. Trevon James is well known for peddling Bitconnect jenkem for r/edditards to huff, and was named in a class action lawsuit by Bitconnect losers in September of this year. Mr. James is the second individual this year that has proffered to eat unusual items, with John McAfee taking the lead by offering to eat his own dick on live national television.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Chinese Ethereum vulnerable to ancient bug

December 04, 2018 — shinohai

The NEO platform (Chinese Ethereum) was discovered to be vulnerable to the same default settings bug that caused mETH tards to have funds liberated from their nodes back in June. Chinese tech company Tencent first reported the bug, and encouraged all users to update their nodes as soon as possible, instead of correctly advising users to simply abandon the platform, and anything else remotely resembling Ethereum. Coinmarket cap lists an imaginary valuation of $532 million USD for this corn riddled steamy pile of Asian shit.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Insecurity

Filipinos to be paid in trash to collect trash

November 29, 2018 — shinohai

Residents of Manila may soon be "compensated" with mETH tokens in exchange for spending a few hours cleaning up trash on beaches in the capital city. ConsenSys, billed as the largest development firm on the flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit that is Ethereum, hopes to kickstart their Bounties Network dApp by appealing to uneducated 3rd-world users who might be tricked into believing that the tokens they receive have any value. Participants in this scheme with any intelligence at all will hopefully immediately swap any ETH received for actual Bitcoin on their preferred cryptocurrency exchange. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Twitter account of target.com hacked to promote giveaway scam.

November 13, 2018 — shinohai

Unknown individuals gained access to the official Target twitter account earlier today and attempted to promote a 5000 BTC giveaway scam. The tweet posted by the hacker(s), now deleted, asked users to send small amounts of Bitcoin to an address in order to participate in a chance to win the Bitcoin prize, which is worth around $30 Million USD at the time of writing. The incident is another example of the poor security used by the twitter platform and its unwillingness to stop the proliferation of scams that usually target "verified" accounts.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Scams, Webshit

United States v. 7.26611032 Bitcoin

November 05, 2018 — shinohai

The U.S. Marshals service is auctioning 660 BTC today that it stole from various entrepreneurs under the guise of the "Civil Asset Foreiture Program". One must deposit 220k filthy fiat dollars minimum in order to participate in said auction, which opened at 8 AM EDT today.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Buffer overflow bug discovered in segshit address scheme.

October 31, 2018 — shinohai

A buffer overflow vulnerability has been discovered by satoshi labs in the bech32 address scheme, used by Segshit and introduced into Bitcoin by "Core" developer Pieter Wuille. Satoshi labs assures users of their already pwnd Trezor devices that the risk is minimal and can only result in denial of service attacks, but released a firmware update immediately after the bug was confirmed. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Insecurity, Lulz

Vitalik gushes over scam success

October 05, 2018 — shinohai

mETHereum founder Vitalik Butterin admitted in a recent tweet that he is "really proud" that his 70% premine scamcoin has been so much more successful than his quantum computer scam.


Vitalik was quoted as saying during the initial offering that "We accept only bitcoin with no refunds for our premined ETH" a.k.a. "Fuck you, got mine".

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Japanese exchange hack results in $37 Million SFYL

September 20, 2018 — shinohai

Japanese shitcoin exchange Zaif announces they were hacked to twitter this morning, SFYL from actual bitcoin is reported to be upwards of $37 Million USD. Other worthless shit tokens such as Btrash (BCH) were taken, though no one knows precisely why.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, SFYL, Lulz

She was only 17

September 20, 2018 — shinohai

An international manhunt has begun for 3-D printed weapon producer Cody Wilson for sexual assault on an underage girl. Mr. Wilson is believed to be somewhere in Taiwan, singing this:

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz, SFYL

Hoaxtoshi announces upcoming release of his one true final vision

August 19, 2018 — shinohai

Craig "Hoaxtoshi" Wright announced plans to release a competing version of the BTrash implementation which he calls "Bitcoin SV" that will "provide a clear BCH implementation choice for miners who support Bitcoin’s original vision". The new version - the really, real version of Bitcoin this time - will have support for 128MB blocks, despite the fact that the most blocks are less than 100KB, or 0.00333333333% of the current 32MB limit. The announcement comes in the midst of a time of increasing tensions between Hoaxtoshi and the "Bitcoin ABC" (BTrash) developers, who want to add new OP codes that Wright says will encourage illegal gambling and other things he can't patent or control. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Scams

Conbase Cucks Venezuelan Userbase.

August 03, 2018 — shinohai

Coinbase has reportedly cut off access to cryptocurrency withdrawls to citizens of Venezuela. Visitors to the site from Venezuelan IP's are reporting that the following message is being displayed in their browser:

This latest Conbase Cucking is one of a series of "LOL KYC/AML" mishaps that does not affect users of Actual Bitcoin

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Webshit

bitcoinstats.com unpublishes chat logs for #bitcoin-otc, others.

July 30, 2018 — shinohai

bitcoinstats.com has disabled access to irc logs from its website, signaling that it intends to comply with the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) which was enacted in 2016. bitcoinstats offered irc logging of the #bitcoin-dev, #bitcoin-core-dev, and #bitcoin-otc channels on the freenode network.

The GDPR website defines personal data as the following in their FAQ section:

The GDPR applies to ‘personal data’ meaning any information relating to an identifiable person who can be directly or indirectly identified in particular by reference to an identifier. This definition provides for a wide range of personal identifiers to constitute personal data, including name, identification number, location data or online identifier, reflecting changes in technology and the way organizations collect information about people.

It is unknown at this time if freenode intends to attempt to pressure other channel owners to unpublish logs, as the GDPR website also states that the law applies "to organisations located outside of the EU if they offer goods or services to, or monitor the behaviour of, EU data subjects". A maximum fine of 20 million Euros, or zero BTC, can be levied against individuals or organizations for non-compliance.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

Bitcoin Knots restored as the default upstream ebuild

July 22, 2018 — shinohai

Bitcoin Knots is once again the default ebuild of Bitcoin for Gentoo users. In order to revert to the "Core" flavor of Bitcoin, users will need to set the USE=-knots flag going forward.

According to developer luke-jr in a recent announcement:

Bitcoin Knots provides the best end user experience out of the box (for example, only 5 GB disk space is required instead of over 100 GB). It is completely compatible with the Bitcoin network and other Bitcoin implementations, including the popular Bitcoin Core implementation.

Bitcoin knots is currently undergoing testing on the btcinfo server, and will serve as a replacement for "therealbitcoin" in irc/telegram bot functions that require bitcoind. Source code and relevant patches will be added to the /bitcoin/ section of this website in the near future.

UPDATE 7/24/2018: luke-jr informed me that the these changes have not been merged yet. I apologize for the misquote.

Reading the #trilema logs this morning, it seems this post created fair amount of confusion:

asciilifeform: in other lulz, http://btcinfo.sdf.org/blog/bitcoin-knots-restored-as-the-default-upstream-ebuild.html << shinohai endorses prb...

Please note the words undergoing testing, which should not imply any sort of endorsement or glowing review. To clarify, Knots simply offers some interesting features I want to poke with a stick more to satiate my curiosity - this segshit stuff is in wide use on alt irc platforms (Telegram, Discord, et all) and I simply want to see if any brokenness can be readily exposed. Sometimes that requires milling about in enemy territory and becoming familiar with enemy tools. Remember your Sun Tzu:

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

asciilifeform is welcome to go ahead and negrate - this has nothing to do with spite, etc. as you already know all about. Ratings in a place where one's presence is not wanted mean little to me at this point. Experiments fail sometimes, but work should always continue nonetheless.

After all, I can't simply idle about on the beach every day. There's a goddamned war going on.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, UNIX

Porky's Revenge: Mayogendered money-man squeals again

July 06, 2018 — shinohai

Amazingly the heart of Mayogendered money-man Agustín Carsten has not yet failed of sheer exhaustion, and he was able to once again rant about his hatred for Bitcoin in a recent interview. It had about the same impact as it did last time he squealed, and Buterin's waterfall continues to weaken. (archived)

"Young people should use their many talents and skills for innovation, not reinventing money. It's a fallacy to think money can be created from nothing,"

Tags: News, Bitcoin

Zerodium offering increased rewards for UNIX 0day exploits

June 29, 2018 — shinohai

Zerodium, a company that brokers exploits to governments and "law enforcement" is now offering rewards of up to one half million USD for zero days in UNIX operating systems. The company's website states that payments can be processed in Bitcoin and other "cryptocurrencies".

ZERODIUM evaluates and verifies all submitted research within one week or less. Payments are made in one or multiple installments by wire transfer or using crypto-currencies e.g. Bitcoin.

Zerodium only accepts submissions encrypted with their GPG KEY and claims to take one's privacy "very seriously", though they require a researchers personal information that they promise not to share with anyone, ever.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Insecurity, Linux

Coordinated attack on Bcash VERified

June 26, 2018 — shinohai

Not content to sit back and make idle threats, a group of "Bitcoin developers, miners and whales" known as BitPico has begun stress testing the Bcash network. The group announced their intentions in a series of tweets which started June 22, stating they would be attempting a 51% attack that they hoped to amplify over time.

“We expect to have 5000 Bcash attack nodes in roughly 6 weeks and then we will multi-fork the chain. [Roger Ver] will now cry.”

Despite claiming to receive death threats from the Bcash redditards, the group seems committed to fighting fake Bitcoin and has the author's full support.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Zcash developer creates novel Windows ransomware.

June 22, 2018 — shinohai

This week's angry attention whore is brought to you by Zcash, which was forced to pay off the sole developer of its Windows wallet to avoid a fork. Coin Desk reported that D. Jane Mercer threatened to release a Zcash competitor if he wasn't paid for his work. A ransom of 80 ZEC, or about $15`000 USD was raised by "the community" which should pay for Mr. Mercer's crystal meth habit for about a month. Zcash has not been immune to the plummeting prices in altcoin markets this year, dropping from $876 USD at the start of the year to less than $200 USD per coin currently.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Bithumb makes sure the security resulting in SFYL

June 20, 2018 — shinohai

Executives from Yet Another Exchange Hack LTD. visit top shitcoin exchange Bithumb while they were "making sure the security". $30 Million+ USD in SFYL occurs, though the company promises to use the power of fractional reserve banking to reimburse all affected parties Buttstamp style. (archived)

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, SFYL, Lulz

Blockchain Beanie baby bubble bursting

June 17, 2018 — shinohai

A report from Business Insider indicates that sales of collectible "CryptoKitties" on the mEthereum database are rapidly plummeting. The startup was given $12 Million USD from "Venture Capitalists" that apparently wanted to see just how much money idiots would flush down the toilet while under the influence of feline jenkem. One of the founders of CryptoKitties says the slowdown is caused by users making more "thoughtful transactions" due to the increasing costs of transacting on the mEthereum network, a side effect that occurs when one writes contracts with the ability to launch a Denial of Service attack on itself just for lulz.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 3

June 16, 2018 — shinohai

Vitalik Butterin whines about the NSA inventing Bitcoin again, regurgitating the same claims he made in 2011.

"Malicious miners" are rumored to have liberated 5% of the total supply of Monero.

ICON - a "smart contract" on ETH - is brought to a standstill when the following feature was discovered that allowed anyone but the developer to transfer funds out of the contract:

modifier onlyFromWallet {
    require(msg.sender != walletAddress);
    _;
}

The fatal bug will likely result in a $800 Million USD SFYL to "investors" in the ICO.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

BitKup Bitcoin Betting Begins

June 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitkup, a DAPP built upon the Ethereum database, has started a campaign hoping gamblers will be dumb enough to use a platform known for skewing results to handle their sports-betting needs. Emails announcing bets being taken for the 2018 World Cup, which starts today in Russia, began hitting spam boxes worldwide early this morning. Since the fall of BitBet, no suitable replacement has been found for anyone looking to wager with actualBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Enumerating geth nodes for fun and profit

June 13, 2018 — shinohai

Step 1: Download GETH and build it inside a chroot.

Step 2: Fire up geth and wait for the ethereum database to load.

Step 3: Enumerate peers running misconfigured clients and rpc consoles by running an insecure instance yourself:

dibbuk# ./geth --rpc --rpcaddr 0.0.0.0 --rpcapi, db,eth,net,web3 --dev console

Step 4: Profit. I quickly found 22 nodes listening for the entire world on port 8545, ~60% of these were located on Chinese and other South Asian mining farms. For bonus lulz you can leverage the power of virtual shrimp mining to disrupt the network whilst you pilfer the funds from vulnerable wallets.

At the time of this post, the addresses below are confirmed to have received around $22 million USD in ETH liberated by enterprising crypto pirates, and the figures still climb despite warnings not to do this shit since March:

0x09d6fd506b7eb4102182d8e4d9a3d8f3dbfa499b 
0x1234567461d3f8db7496581774bd869c83d51c93 
Ox15e4cf195Offa338ce5bc59456b3e579ed1bead3 
0x397aa69c17a7cc405a3aeeeb223158109b037d5b
0x3d985fd71a21256c7d2b618ab8a1896f10f64fcd 
0x4e0603e2a27a30480e5e3a4fe548e29ef12f64be 
0x519475b31653e46d20cd09f9fdcf3b12bdacb4f5 
0x6ef57be1168628a2bd6c5788322a41265084408a 
0x7097f41f1c1847d52407c629d0e0ae0fdd24fd58 
0x72adadb447784dd7ab1f472467750fc485e4cb2d 
0x7b09ff6548f03512dfe63a09a2673b9c25476482 
0x85545528f1d72912558f9ef72296c404afd4b18d 
0x8e4fbe2673e154fe9399166e03e18f87a5754420 
0x8f760bc9bd9748fc61c7b60ea8033037f37d44d5 
0x957cd4ff9b3894fc78b5134a8dc72b032ffbc464 
0x9b11efcaaa1890f6ee52c6bb7cf8153ac5d74139 
0x9fe173573b3f3cf4aebce5fd5bef957b9a6686e8 
0xafecd96855ec6324d7cde57babb775676e560441 
0xc1e42aa688977d386a6ce15de741e3c34ff0c500 
Oxd26114cd6ee289accf82350c8d8487fedb8a0c07 
0xe386e3372e3d316ae063af50c38704ec6fba5149

Lesson: Trust your finances to garbage written in golang with a javascript console at your peril.

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Insecurity, Lulz

Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquires Coinrail

June 11, 2018 — shinohai

Shitcoin enthusiasts are in the doldrums this morning with the announcement of Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquiring Coinrail. Hackers have liberated a total of 1.1 Billion dollars in imagined value from "cryptocurrency" markets in the first half of this year alone. This address is said to belong to the hacker, and contains $14 Million USD in ETH tokens as of the time of this writing. There was no word as to whether Pope Butterin would invoke his mystical database powers and magic the hack away, as he has demonstrably done before.

Prices across all markets have been on decline since the announcement that US "regulators" are investigating scam exchange stalwarts that include Conbase and Buttstamp.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Gavin Andresen VERified as true hoaxtoshi

June 08, 2018 — shinohai

Roger Ver pays some schmucks to say NSA asset Gavin Andresen is the true Satoshi on bitcoin.com. No one cares since it's been known since at least 2014 exactly what he is.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Lulz

McAfee makes personal army request

June 08, 2018 — shinohai

The John McAfee lulz just write themselves:

"Make crypto great again!"

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Crypto Company Commander Commandeers Carrier

June 07, 2018 — shinohai

The story of the National Guard Soldier that stole an armored personnel carrier gets more interesting as it turns out he was involved in the development of "cryptocurrency" as a side hobby.

He was also involved in the development of a cryptocurrency called ZenCash, before leaving the project and claiming he had discovered a way to hack its underlying blockchain.....On June 4, 2018, ZenCash did suffer a cyberattack, but there is no evidence so far linking Yahut to that event.

Alas Lieutenant Yahut could not complete his ETH-fueled rampage, and is now in Virginia State Police custody and is charged with the felonies of eluding police and unauthorized use of a vehicle. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Crypocurrency, Lulz

Argentine Embassy takes its show on the road.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

Does anyone remember the "Bitcoin Embassy" in Argentina from 2014? No? Well the ecosystem has now evolved, and boy is it thriving! From the country that brought us the aforementioned "embassy", I present:

A minivan tour of the rural areas of Argentina to teach "la gente" the magic of "cryptocurrencies"!

Shortbus
Shortbus.exe

The tour plans to wind from from Buenas Aires province to La Pampa, Santa Fe and Cordoba. If the bus isn't torched by the end of that tour, the group plans to take their snake oil presentation to other parts of South America.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Undetermined number of exploits found in EOS code.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

A Dutch hacker, Guido Vranken, has found a dozen "dangerous" bugs in EOS code in only 1 week. Vranken claims to have actually "lost count" of the final tally of exploits found. Miraculously, EOS still sits in the top 5 "cryptocurrencies" list at coinmarketcap.com, though it was down -0.61.5% against actual Bitcoin. Unfortunately, the hacker chose to "responsibly disclose" these bugs to the EOS team instead of using the information to induce well-deserved SFYL on the participants of the scam. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

BestMixer hoping to best Shilbert's snitches.

June 05, 2018 — shinohai

An article on Roger Ver's fake news outlet bitcoin.com claims that services like Bestmixer will keep one safe from the prying eyes of Chainalysis. Lulz are linked in the article to an official tardstalk thread that Bestmixer uses to promote it's services. Chainalysis is part of Barry Shilbert's "Digital Currency Group" and assists law enforcement investigations of all things NotBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

trb build instructions

June 04, 2018 — shinohai

I decided to make this page to preserve a copy of trb build instructions, lest the bumblers over at #Bizarro cause the whole foundation to burn. I still have my original signed genesis vpatch (October 2016) hosted here, but my copy of the build instructions is outdated. The page (as it exists of this date) is quoted below.

  

PREFACE

What's contained with in this document is a HOWTO guide on building TRB [OFFLINE or ONLINE], The Bitcoin Reference Implementation maintained by The Bitcoin Foundation. You will need an x86-64 Linux System. Gentoo, Ubuntu, and Debian have been tested with this HOWTO document. Keep in mind that you will need to have your system locale / language set to US-English. You also will need a minimum of 20Gb of disk space in the file system where you are going to do the build. To build TRB, you are going to need some basic requirements on your system environment. You also will need the following packages / binaries / tools on your system:
  • bc
  • gcc [version 4.x]
  • g++ [version 4.x]
  • gpg [GnuPG version 1.4.x, 1.4.10 preferred]
  • wget
  • curl
  • perl
  • diff
  • patch
  • rsync
  • sha512sum
  • unzip
  • bzip2 tools [including bzcat]

Read more...

Vitalk Verifies Volume Vaporware

June 03, 2018 — shinohai

mEthereum creator Vitalik Butterin was recently quoted as saying that network will eventually be able to process "potentially more than 100 million transactions per second". Butterin claims that the as yet unreleased "technologies" of sharting and plasma will allow the network to scale, despite evidence to the contrary.

VitalikButterin
I can store 1TB of sharts in my purse.

Sharting is at it's most basic a method of breaking down parts of the giant turd that is the ETH database so each node only needs to process a smaller portion of the total shit, and Plasma is basically "Lightning Network" for ETH.

Buterin further stated:

So if you get a 100x from Sharding and a 100x from Plasma, those two basically give you a 10,000x scalability gain, which basically means blockchains will be powerful enough to handle most applications most people are trying to do with them.

Such world changing applications will likely include CryptoKitties and Virtual Shrimp Mining, the two highest-volume transaction makers on the platform which recently caused the network to DDoS itself.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 2

June 02, 2018 — shinohai
Snippets of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Environ, a token that promised full compliance with KYC/AML regulations, goes up in smoke, taking $100 million imaginary USD of value with it. (archived)

Serguei Popov, a "mathmetician" that worked on the IdiOTA scam, removes all traces of IOTA from his webpage.

Because all scams are better with blockchain, "premium" accessory manufacturer Monster Cables decides fake Bitcoin will resurrect slumping sales. (archived)

Online events retailer Ticketfly's website remained nonoperational today as it has yet to pay a Bitcoin ransom to the hacker that uncovered it's security failings on Friday. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Dead Crypto Idiot Reduces World XRP Supply

May 31, 2018 — shinohai

Former chairman of the New York Republican State finance committee Matthew Mellon died of an apparent heart attack on May 18th. An early "investor" in the Ripple scam, it is believed he had roughly 1 billion XRP, or the equivalent of zero Bitcoin, that is now lost forever. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Adios, o la bifurcacion

May 31, 2018 — shinohai

Today will be the last day of my irc bot jhvh1's service in #trilema and #pizarro channels on freenode, thus concluding my final bit of business with TMSR after ~4 years of participation (The past year serving as "The Right Honorable Baron Titsbare"), before consensus decided I was no longer eligible to serve in that capacity1 . In that time I submitted articles regularly to Qntra (some good, some terrible), gained a plethora of knowledge about therealbitcoin, earned a few bitcents income playing Eulora, and met some of the finest and most knowledgeable people on the internet, hands down. So I am going to recognize those folks here in this post, as a modest way of thanking them for their efforts. In no particular order, we have:

danielpbarron

Daniel showed me the ropes when I first arrived on Republican soil. One of the few religious folks I can tolerate being around, because he never lets God trump logic as far as I can tell.

mod6

I owe this guy a great debt of gratitude - the sheer number of hours I spent in valuable conversation with him regarding `V` 2 and therealbitcoin testing are incalculable. He has incredible stores of patience and is a real credit to The Bitcoin Foundation.

BingoBoingo

BB (As he is affectionately called) nagged me into finally getting off my ass and writing for Qntra, and as Editor-in-Chief always ensured my submissions were up to snuff. I likely wouldn't be writing this now if not for him. I hope his future involves a surfeit of dusky tits.

diana_coman

Diana is CTO of S.MG and provided me with some interesting quests in the land of Eulora. I will always remember rubbing sleep from my eyes early in the morning and lumbering about digging for resources in the oddest of locations at her behest. :)

pete_dushenski

A fellow Ex-Lord of the Republic, Pete still operates Contravex, a blog with a whimsical style that beats much of the other crap that gets published in Bitcoin space today.

trinque

Trinque is the reason I no longer limp about on sad Debian machines, having given me the tools to begin learning how to Gentoo - which now powers almost every box in my home. Props are also due him for nudging me to learn a bit of Common Lisp.

asciilifeform

Alf, with his "fits in head" philosophy 3, has shaped a lot of my current ideas on what computing should and should not be.

mircea_popescu

Last, but not least, is MP. Too many contributions to my thought processes to list here, readers are invited to read Trilema or The Logs instead, and make of them what you will.


Though I look back on the gates of TMSR with a bit of wistfulness, I am excited to see where my travels will take me now that I am free of the trappings of the Republican construct. Work on this blog and the replacement bot for jhvh1 continues, as will the lampooning of cryptotards across the wider internet.

Read more...

McAfee to print own fiat

May 29, 2018 — shinohai

John McAfee continues his tireless campaign to show the world what an absolute burnt-out cokehead he is by announcing McAfee Coin which he says will be "fiat currency backed by cryptocurrencies". He goes on to explain that his idea is the “reverse of what banks are attempting”, which is true since fiat institutions and the world at large tend not to accept Schrutebucks or any other play money someone prints out on a whim. No word was immediately available as to when the "collectible currency" would be available to the public, nor the method of distribution that would be used, but he assured his twitter followers that "You will love it". Mr. McAfee is well known in cryptoverse for his batshit insane ideas on crypto and support for scammy ICO's, so stay tuned to see if this idea actually generates lulz or forever remains vaporware.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Verge attacker whacks off new exploit

May 22, 2018 — shinohai

Verge (XVG) is under attack again using a modified version of the same exploit which previously perplexed the pornhub privacy payments purveyors. At current speed, the perpetrators are generating 18250XVG per minute, or about $950 USD. Price plummeted another 7%+ on the news according to Coinmarketcap. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections.

May 19, 2018 — shinohai

A snippet of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Hot on the heels of Ethereum's self DDOS, the we-are-very-smart-contract platform IOTA was reportedly brought to a halt by a single spammer. Coinmarketcap ranks IOTA at #9 on it's shitcoin index.

A Chinese blockchain tea scam results in a rougly 580 BTC SFYL.

The Satori botnet has been restarted to scan the mETH network for exposed mining rigs.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Virtual shrimp mining causes ETH to DDOS itself.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Transactions fees on the mETH network rose to $15 USD in the past 24 hours, this time due to the proliferation of virtual shrimp mining, which perfectly complement the cryptokitty and pepe farming that already places heavy load on the network. Redditards whine about 4chan memes ruining Ethereum, having still not come to the realization that the platform is already broken beyond repair.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Ayre hawks Antiguan citizenship in last ditch effort to boost Bcash scam.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Fake news outlet CoinGeek is reportedly now offering to sell citizenship in the beautiful 3rd-world tax haven of Antigua. Benefits are rumored to include not owning any actual bitcoin, and being forced to transact in fiatist darling Bcash1 instead. Coin Geek is owned by serial scammer and liar Calvin Ayre who is notorious for working closely with hoaxtoshi Craig Wright. Source: (archived)

Read more...

SEC announces ICO

May 17, 2018 — shinohai

The S.E.C. has announced an ICO website, howeycoins.com (archived) in an attempt to show "investors" in cryptocurrency what scams look like. The words "powered by Ethereum" were strangely absent from the report, indicating the SEC missed the opportunity to save taxpayer money on the construction of a website and redirect consumers to ethereum.org directly.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency

McAfee Goes Underground

May 15, 2018 — shinohai

John McAfee has once again stopped taking his medications and announced he was going into hiding from the S.E.C. today because they are trying to "destroy a revolution by making an example out of him". In a series of rants published to YouTube and twitter, McAfee detailed how he managed to backtrace the agents sent to kill him.

He's risking *felonies* everyone! For YOU.

No word was immediately available as to whether Mr. McAfee's ICO whitepaper business would be shutting down while this latest lulzfest plays out. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, lulz

Swedish theives purloin owls for BTC

May 14, 2018 — shinohai

Swedish criminals are resorting to new methods to fund their enterprises in the wake of the cashless movement, with some opting to purloin priceless pets instead, according to a report by TheAtlantic.com. A single great grey owl specimen can fetch upwards of 13 BTC ( $120`000 USD ) on the "Dark Web". A rise in the common phishing schemes, and cryptojacking users browsers to mine Monero was also reported.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, lulz