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Blockchain Beanie baby bubble bursting

June 17, 2018 — shinohai

A report from Business Insider indicates that sales of collectible "CryptoKitties" on the mEthereum database are rapidly plummeting. The startup was given $12 Million USD from "Venture Capitalists" that apparently wanted to see just how much money idiots would flush down the toilet while under the influence of feline jenkem. One of the founders of CryptoKitties says the slowdown is caused by users making more "thoughtful transactions" due to the increasing costs of transacting on the mEthereum network, a side effect that occurs when one writes contracts with the ability to launch a Denial of Service attack on itself just for lulz.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz, Scams

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 3

June 16, 2018 — shinohai

Vitalik Butterin whines about the NSA inventing Bitcoin again, regurgitating the same claims he made in 2011.

"Malicious miners" are rumored to have liberated 5% of the total supply of Monero.

ICON - a "smart contract" on ETH - is brought to a standstill when the following feature was discovered that allowed anyone but the developer to transfer funds out of the contract:

modifier onlyFromWallet {
    require(msg.sender != walletAddress);
    _;
}

The fatal bug will likely result in a $800 Million USD SFYL to "investors" in the ICO.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

BitKup Bitcoin Betting Begins

June 14, 2018 — shinohai

Bitkup, a DAPP built upon the Ethereum database, has started a campaign hoping gamblers will be dumb enough to use a platform known for skewing results to handle their sports-betting needs. Emails announcing bets being taken for the 2018 World Cup, which starts today in Russia, began hitting spam boxes worldwide early this morning. Since the fall of BitBet, no suitable replacement has been found for anyone looking to wager with actualBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Enumerating geth nodes for fun and profit

June 13, 2018 — shinohai

Step 1: Download GETH and build it inside a chroot.

Step 2: Fire up geth and wait for the ethereum database to load.

Step 3: Enumerate peers running misconfigured clients and rpc consoles by running an insecure instance yourself:

dibbuk# ./geth --rpc --rpcaddr 0.0.0.0 --rpcapi, db,eth,net,web3 --dev console

Step 4: Profit. I quickly found 22 nodes listening for the entire world on port 8545, ~60% of these were located on Chinese and other South Asian mining farms. For bonus lulz you can leverage the power of virtual shrimp mining to disrupt the network whilst you pilfer the funds from vulnerable wallets.

At the time of this post, the addresses below are confirmed to have received around $22 million USD in ETH liberated by enterprising crypto pirates, and the figures still climb despite warnings not to do this shit since March:

0x09d6fd506b7eb4102182d8e4d9a3d8f3dbfa499b 
0x1234567461d3f8db7496581774bd869c83d51c93 
Ox15e4cf195Offa338ce5bc59456b3e579ed1bead3 
0x397aa69c17a7cc405a3aeeeb223158109b037d5b
0x3d985fd71a21256c7d2b618ab8a1896f10f64fcd 
0x4e0603e2a27a30480e5e3a4fe548e29ef12f64be 
0x519475b31653e46d20cd09f9fdcf3b12bdacb4f5 
0x6ef57be1168628a2bd6c5788322a41265084408a 
0x7097f41f1c1847d52407c629d0e0ae0fdd24fd58 
0x72adadb447784dd7ab1f472467750fc485e4cb2d 
0x7b09ff6548f03512dfe63a09a2673b9c25476482 
0x85545528f1d72912558f9ef72296c404afd4b18d 
0x8e4fbe2673e154fe9399166e03e18f87a5754420 
0x8f760bc9bd9748fc61c7b60ea8033037f37d44d5 
0x957cd4ff9b3894fc78b5134a8dc72b032ffbc464 
0x9b11efcaaa1890f6ee52c6bb7cf8153ac5d74139 
0x9fe173573b3f3cf4aebce5fd5bef957b9a6686e8 
0xafecd96855ec6324d7cde57babb775676e560441 
0xc1e42aa688977d386a6ce15de741e3c34ff0c500 
Oxd26114cd6ee289accf82350c8d8487fedb8a0c07 
0xe386e3372e3d316ae063af50c38704ec6fba5149

Lesson: Trust your finances to garbage written in golang with a javascript console at your peril.

Tags: Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Insecurity, Lulz

Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquires Coinrail

June 11, 2018 — shinohai

Shitcoin enthusiasts are in the doldrums this morning with the announcement of Yet-Another-Exchange-Hack LTD acquiring Coinrail. Hackers have liberated a total of 1.1 Billion dollars in imagined value from "cryptocurrency" markets in the first half of this year alone. This address is said to belong to the hacker, and contains $14 Million USD in ETH tokens as of the time of this writing. There was no word as to whether Pope Butterin would invoke his mystical database powers and magic the hack away, as he has demonstrably done before.

Prices across all markets have been on decline since the announcement that US "regulators" are investigating scam exchange stalwarts that include Conbase and Buttstamp.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

McAfee makes personal army request

June 08, 2018 — shinohai

The John McAfee lulz just write themselves:

"Make crypto great again!"

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, Lulz

Argentine Embassy takes its show on the road.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

Does anyone remember the "Bitcoin Embassy" in Argentina from 2014? No? Well the ecosystem has now evolved, and boy is it thriving! From the country that brought us the aforementioned "embassy", I present:

A minivan tour of the rural areas of Argentina to teach "la gente" the magic of "cryptocurrencies"!

Shortbus
Shortbus.exe

The tour plans to wind from from Buenas Aires province to La Pampa, Santa Fe and Cordoba. If the bus isn't torched by the end of that tour, the group plans to take their snake oil presentation to other parts of South America.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Undetermined number of exploits found in EOS code.

June 06, 2018 — shinohai

A Dutch hacker, Guido Vranken, has found a dozen "dangerous" bugs in EOS code in only 1 week. Vranken claims to have actually "lost count" of the final tally of exploits found. Miraculously, EOS still sits in the top 5 "cryptocurrencies" list at coinmarketcap.com, though it was down -0.61.5% against actual Bitcoin. Unfortunately, the hacker chose to "responsibly disclose" these bugs to the EOS team instead of using the information to induce well-deserved SFYL on the participants of the scam. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

BestMixer hoping to best Shilbert's snitches.

June 05, 2018 — shinohai

An article on Roger Ver's fake news outlet bitcoin.com claims that services like Bestmixer will keep one safe from the prying eyes of Chainalysis. Lulz are linked in the article to an official tardstalk thread that Bestmixer uses to promote it's services. Chainalysis is part of Barry Shilbert's "Digital Currency Group" and assists law enforcement investigations of all things NotBitcoin.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

trb build instructions

June 04, 2018 — shinohai

I decided to make this page to preserve a copy of trb build instructions, lest the bumblers over at #Bizarro cause the whole foundation to burn. I still have my original signed genesis vpatch (October 2016) hosted here, but my copy of the build instructions is outdated. The page (as it exists of this date) is quoted below.

  

PREFACE

What's contained with in this document is a HOWTO guide on building TRB [OFFLINE or ONLINE], The Bitcoin Reference Implementation maintained by The Bitcoin Foundation. You will need an x86-64 Linux System. Gentoo, Ubuntu, and Debian have been tested with this HOWTO document. Keep in mind that you will need to have your system locale / language set to US-English. You also will need a minimum of 20Gb of disk space in the file system where you are going to do the build. To build TRB, you are going to need some basic requirements on your system environment. You also will need the following packages / binaries / tools on your system:
  • bc
  • gcc [version 4.x]
  • g++ [version 4.x]
  • gpg [GnuPG version 1.4.x, 1.4.10 preferred]
  • wget
  • curl
  • perl
  • diff
  • patch
  • rsync
  • sha512sum
  • unzip
  • bzip2 tools [including bzcat]

Read more...

Vitalk Verifies Volume Vaporware

June 03, 2018 — shinohai

mEthereum creator Vitalik Butterin was recently quoted as saying that network will eventually be able to process "potentially more than 100 million transactions per second". Butterin claims that the as yet unreleased "technologies" of sharting and plasma will allow the network to scale, despite evidence to the contrary.

VitalikButterin
I can store 1TB of sharts in my purse.

Sharting is at it's most basic a method of breaking down parts of the giant turd that is the ETH database so each node only needs to process a smaller portion of the total shit, and Plasma is basically "Lightning Network" for ETH.

Buterin further stated:

So if you get a 100x from Sharding and a 100x from Plasma, those two basically give you a 10,000x scalability gain, which basically means blockchains will be powerful enough to handle most applications most people are trying to do with them.

Such world changing applications will likely include CryptoKitties and Virtual Shrimp Mining, the two highest-volume transaction makers on the platform which recently caused the network to DDoS itself.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections 2

June 02, 2018 — shinohai
Snippets of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Environ, a token that promised full compliance with KYC/AML regulations, goes up in smoke, taking $100 million imaginary USD of value with it. (archived)

Serguei Popov, a "mathmetician" that worked on the IdiOTA scam, removes all traces of IOTA from his webpage.

Because all scams are better with blockchain, "premium" accessory manufacturer Monster Cables decides fake Bitcoin will resurrect slumping sales. (archived)

Online events retailer Ticketfly's website remained nonoperational today as it has yet to pay a Bitcoin ransom to the hacker that uncovered it's security failings on Friday. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Dead Crypto Idiot Reduces World XRP Supply

May 31, 2018 — shinohai

Former chairman of the New York Republican State finance committee Matthew Mellon died of an apparent heart attack on May 18th. An early "investor" in the Ripple scam, it is believed he had roughly 1 billion XRP, or the equivalent of zero Bitcoin, that is now lost forever. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

McAfee to print own fiat

May 29, 2018 — shinohai

John McAfee continues his tireless campaign to show the world what an absolute burnt-out cokehead he is by announcing McAfee Coin which he says will be "fiat currency backed by cryptocurrencies". He goes on to explain that his idea is the “reverse of what banks are attempting”, which is true since fiat institutions and the world at large tend not to accept Schrutebucks or any other play money someone prints out on a whim. No word was immediately available as to when the "collectible currency" would be available to the public, nor the method of distribution that would be used, but he assured his twitter followers that "You will love it". Mr. McAfee is well known in cryptoverse for his batshit insane ideas on crypto and support for scammy ICO's, so stay tuned to see if this idea actually generates lulz or forever remains vaporware.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency, lulz

Verge attacker whacks off new exploit

May 22, 2018 — shinohai

Verge (XVG) is under attack again using a modified version of the same exploit which previously perplexed the pornhub privacy payments purveyors. At current speed, the perpetrators are generating 18250XVG per minute, or about $950 USD. Price plummeted another 7%+ on the news according to Coinmarketcap. (archived)

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Shinohai's Saturday Shitcoin Selections.

May 19, 2018 — shinohai

A snippet of cryptocurrency fail from around the web:

Hot on the heels of Ethereum's self DDOS, the we-are-very-smart-contract platform IOTA was reportedly brought to a halt by a single spammer. Coinmarketcap ranks IOTA at #9 on it's shitcoin index.

A Chinese blockchain tea scam results in a rougly 580 BTC SFYL.

The Satori botnet has been restarted to scan the mETH network for exposed mining rigs.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency

Virtual shrimp mining causes ETH to DDOS itself.

May 18, 2018 — shinohai

Transactions fees on the mETH network rose to $15 USD in the past 24 hours, this time due to the proliferation of virtual shrimp mining, which perfectly complement the cryptokitty and pepe farming that already places heavy load on the network. Redditards whine about 4chan memes ruining Ethereum, having still not come to the realization that the platform is already broken beyond repair.

Tags: News, Bitcoin, Cryptocurrency